Matt Fraction, shared his own experience with depression in a response to a suicidal fan. Something you really appreciate that people like him are able to do for the people that support his writing.
An anonymous Tumblr user wrote to Fraction saying Sorry to put this on you but I have an honest question about depression an suicide. Isn’t it completely possible for it to be a alternative for someone. Can’t there be someone out there who genuinely is tired and doesn’t want to continue. I know there is beauty and wonderful things in this world. There are things to look forward to. There will be more pain but also more laughter. But what if I’m not interested?
Fraction shared with his fan his own experience with depression and suicide. (This is actually summed up, the actual thing is longer) (Read it HERE)
“I’d tell you something I don’t even think my wife knows,” (sic) he wrote. “This happened years before we met – shit, more than a decade – and it’s not the first time I came close to suicide was on a thanksgiving night. i’d eaten well and then as the house shut down I went into the bathroom, drew a bath as hot as I could manage to stand, and climbed into the tub with a razor blade.
“As I started to cut, as the corner touched my skin and that jolt of pain fired into my head, I stopped and thought – y’know, last chance. Are you SURE?
“And I was tired. I sounded like you, that I knew there’d be ups again and downs but i was just so f***ing TIRED i couldn’t stand the thought of having to get there. I felt this … this never-ending crush of days that were grey and tepid but for some reason I was supposed to greet each one with a smile. the constant pressure of having to keep my shit in all the time was just exhausting.
“I wondered, then – well, is there anything you’re curious about. Anything you want to see play out. And I thought of a comic I was reading and I’d not figured out the end of the current storyline. And I realized I had curiosity. And that was the hook i’d hang my hat on. that by wanting to see how something played out I wasn’t really ready. That little sprout of a thing poking up through all that black earth kept me around a little longer.
“I’d realized then that it had been so long since I’d laughed. “I was numbed out and shut down and just … I missed laughing. maybe if I laughed a little I could get moving again. so i’d wait for my comic to conclude, try to find a few laughs, and then re-evaluate.”
And the thing is that you really do notice his depth of knowledge on this subject from his writing. Just yesterday I read Hawkeye #13 and I got that feeling from the story. You see the one hero who has so much to overcome, he’s not like the others and doesn’t think of himself any better. Beating himself up and very self-destructive because he’s just an ordinary guy who’s really good with a bow and arrow. Everything you could make fun of him for, is taken seriously in the Hawkeye books and he seems like someone who is always ready to give up. That much you get here and much more. It’s because of his sidekick, Kate that you see his mindset spelled out for him, more depressing that she’s younger than him and has to give him a kick in the ass when he is failing. You really sympathize for him and Fraction perfectly captures that importance of the man behind the mask, so to speak since he doesn’t wear one. I mean those cops did easily figure out who he was since he failed at diverting the conversation.